Why and how do we become (so) judgemental? Well, we’re not rational beings, first and foremost. It’s hard for us to differentiate blame with criticism (constructive one, I’m talking). And the more we hold on to a belief, the more we repeat something, that something becomes part of our identity. It might be one of the hardest things to let of, too. But if you do accept that new idea, since everything is somehow connected, you have a lot of work to do, then. You need to organize them again, not to mention the things that need to be replaced, furthering your labor-time. So, to feel good about ourselves, AND out of fear that we might be like them, we find lots of things to judge in people. It becomes automatic, after some time. Now, an act needs to be obvious in the environment for it to become a habit, it needs to be easy, satisfying and attractive. Let me demonstrate this with a real-life thing.

So you have this group of friends. You get together. What do we do when we are with friends? You talk about this mutual friend, that acquaintance and their shortcomings, stupidity, absurdness, weirdness etc. Of course you talk about people, it’s what we do, we’re social beings. It’s obvious. It’s easy because you can only talk so much about ideas and technological improvements and this and that. Talking about people is easier, you can do it when you’re about to sleep (I know you’ve done that). It’s satisfying because that’s how you get to boost your self-esteem and maintain that self-image, which is your identity, or at least kinda related. And again, it’s satisfying because you might be getting some kind of validation from the group that way, you’re not being left out. And it’s attractive because what you can do is usually attractive to you. And you repeat the cycle all over again, ’cause it’s easy, you are surrounded by cues, nothing catastrophic is happening that way. Or even if it will, you won’t put much thought into it, ’cause people are reinforcing that idea. And they won’t tell you the truth, they, too, need the validation and satisfaction and all that.

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trying to learn how to think through writing

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Rahmanberdi

Rahmanberdi

trying to learn how to think through writing

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