Anytime the major things go wrong in your life, it’s better if you take a step back and reevaluate your values. Because they are the ones that put you in this situation in the first place, and having them makes you react this way to this particular situation, for better or worse.
You should determine if you should replace your values for better ones, and question if you really believe in them instead of just claiming.
Role models are the same. We are not free from influence even when we’re adults. There are people we look up to. And if our evaluation of them is inaccurate or if the role models we have are downright unhealthy people, then it’s going to affect us badly. Considering that every once in a while helps a lot because it says a lot about you.
Once that is done, you measure your successes and failures according to that.