on not getting married

Rahmanberdi
2 min readMar 12, 2021

Not getting married is like a trend these days. Especially in the west. Most of them see marriage as merely an act where you sleep with one person for the rest of your not-so-short lifetime.

Getting married late, or at least not later than the age people generally used to, is on the rise too, naturally.

Fair enough. Life ain’t easy. It’s a crucial decision to make. Probably the most crucial in your life. You might think of yourself as someone who is inexperienced. The more you live, the more experienced and knowledgeable you get. This means you now have better judgment and can make healthier decisions.

But there is this one perspective here. Think of the first time you got a job. Chances are, you didn’t know shit about anything. You didn’t know where to put the tray, you didn’t know the prices of the products, you couldn’t give answers to most of the questions the customers asked. As time passed and you became more familiar with the environment and how things work, you were now a better waiter, a better shopkeeper, etc. But you did not become a better anything by walking past that shop or restaurant you are now working in. You committed, you took responsibility (the kind of responsibility you didn’t know you could handle, or more truthfully, the kind of responsibility you were sure you couldn’t fulfill), and eventually, it was all good, it worked out. You made plenty of mistakes, the dumbest of mistakes, and now they became a lot less.

Now, do you not make mistakes anymore? No, of course not. You make mistakes here and there, some are embarrassing, some because of your ignorance, some because of your forgetfulness, and some because of your damn lazy self.

But the 70-year-old couples, do they not make mistakes in their marriages? I suspect they do, although not as often as newly married couples. Eventually, they got better at communicating, at letting go, and at god-knows-what-area-that-our-not-wise-but-acting-like-we-know-everything-selves-can-not-think-of.

This is not to say that you should get married real soon, of course. Your relationship, financial situation, and other real factors should be considered. But the fact that the person you are going to marry is going to be flawed just like you need to be put into some serious thought. Because guess what? Everyone makes mistakes, as you heard a thousand times just last week. And you might be mistaken about this, no?

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