on having opinions
Every blog, every YouTube channel ever has at least one article/video titled “Advice to my 20-year-old self’” or something of the sort. This is mine, in a way.
Here is the one I want to talk about: Don’t be so sure of your ideas.
Let me tell you what I mean by that. The obvious reality is that we make better sense of the world the more we live. When you are 20 or younger, especially when you are younger, you either haven’t experienced a lot, or went through a lot but you drew wrong conclusions from them. But you think you know everything you need to know about the world. Fine, you may have a good judgement, or you might be one of those people who is emotionally healthy because you grew up around emotionally healthy and mature adults. What I think a would-be better approach is this: be curious, ask questions, debate the pros and cons of everything, hear the both sides, entertain ideas. The word I need you to pay attention here is “entertain”. Do not HAVE ideas, do not rush into having ideas, because the reality is, they are your best guesses, for now. At some point in life, sooner or later, you are going to realize that you were wrong, about at least one thing, big time. You have been on this planet for only *insert your age here* years for fuck’s sake. Those opinions and decisions are going to shape your life. And you don’t wanna go back and deal with all this mess later.
And this one’s equally important: whatever you are doing, whatever you are thinking, enjoy it. Including the bad ones, especially the bad ones. That’s cheesy, I know. But please keep in mind that we are in the wrong all the time. Human beings make mistakes ALL THE TIME. Yes, even Beyonce. So, it’s just figuring out a way to be a little less shitty, trying to suck a little less as you go through life. That’s the ultimate game. That is exciting. Enjoy it. When you find out you made a mistake, don’t think “ohh shit. I did that again. I am bad. The world is to blame. This other person is to blame. Bad things always find me” etc. Instead, think “oh, okay, I was wrong. I am wrong about a lot of things. I wonder what am I gonna realize tomorrow. I wanna see if I can make this better.” That’s what’s going to bring you satisfaction and fulfillment. That constant “figuring out.” Because problems and mistakes are the only constants in life. They are not going away, ever. And we are wired that way. We humans need challenges to overcome, problems to solve. If you have better problems, you have a better life. So, enjoy the dirt, and enjoy figuring it out.