Here you are. In such a place where you couldn’t even imagine five years ago. This is not what you’ve expected, and not even close to what you’ve hoped for. If anything, it’s the exact opposite. And it’s in every area of your life. It bothers you that you were wrong all the way. But you also feel like somehow, you’ve learned something valuable, life-changing, even. And if you can get it right this time, just this time, then everything would be… “Caaalifornia Looove…” It will be even more glamorous than what you wanted five years ago. You still have a chance because you are still thinking about it. You still want to get “it”, only by taking a different path or a different “it” this time.
That’s all cool but let’s talk about “it” for a second. Five years ago, what you wanted was different and the plan of action was different. And that obviously didn’t happen because of your fucked up actions (I am hoping you’re holding yourself responsible here). But if that happened, you wouldn’t realize all these things, you wouldn’t be here, right? That version of you would be more ignorant than you are now, no? That’s a good thing, then, that you are here. Because you needed to realize all this to go on. And here’s something interesting, what you want now and the things you’re doing are maybe wrong. But that’s not the point. That’s just the way things are. We take action, we take responsibility, and when we make a mistake or it doesn’t produce the results we desire, we adjust.
So, be constantly learning, adjusting is good. Not adjusting is bad. Be humble and try to get better.